family matters: when siblings are best friends

I have uncovered yet another surprise benefit that comes with homeschooling your children: friendship.  True friendship cannot be forced nor broken by another person, and I have actually watched this develop in my very own children.  Two of these children, less than 2 years ago, were fighting and arguing until separation was the only solution.  And now, as I speak, they are willfully closed in my son's bedroom, making a fort out of blankets and a bunk bed, delighted with their co-creation.

But it doesn't stop there.  Where else would you find an 8 year-old and a 2 year-old who are growing into great friends?  Because the girls share a room, and because M8 is not away at school 7-9 hours a day (including transportation time), this friendship is continually growing and being nurtured between them.  Yes, M8 becomes irritated with N2, but isn't that the case in all friendships?  I am amazed when I think that there are times throughout the day when M8 thoughtfully takes N2 aside and plays with dolls or puzzles, reads books, or fixes her hair...just because she wants to.

Honestly, this discovery brings tears to my eyes.  The thought that if M8 were away at school (and M6 as well!) her limited time at home would be filled with homework, chores, and sleep makes me so very thankful that God led our family to make this decision to educate our children at home.  And now another reason to be thankful: Because we've had the privilege to watch our children grow from siblings to friends.

Parenting: Attitudes

With homeschooling comes a tightrope that a parent must walk between teacher and nurturer.  As a teacher, you must not coddle your child, nor be too rigid.  As a parent, you must be able to love your child, as well as discipline him.  But in both roles, there must be a balance.  As I have seen some of our days too full of raised voices, talking back, and selfishness, I picked up a book borrowed from my MIL, Dr. James Dobson's, The Strong-Willed Child.  From this book, I have found a wonderful chart that our family will begin using at the end of each day.

Until now, I would have never described either of my children as being a strong-will child. However, at times, they each have the tendency to be selfish, defiant, and - yes - strong-willed.  And this disrupts our classroom, and life.

Because my husband and I realize that we still have the dominant influence on our children's lives, I've decided to take a pro-active approach and hold our children accountable for their attitudes.  I pray the Lord helps us to use a kind and loving manner, no matter the end result, and that our children will become more aware of how their behavior affects others.  I will update at the end of the year as to what changes (if any) have taken place.

Homework, Questions, and Decisions

We have been quietly considering homeschool for our children for about a year now.  Our decision was ultimately made for us last year because of our newest addition, Nina Grace.  At under a year old, I didn't think that was the atmosphere to begin such a big change in our lives.  This year, Nina is almost two years old, and is very satisfied with playing on her own, looking at books, and listening as we read.  She will provide her fair share of distractions and entertainment, I am quite sure, so I pray the Lord give me the grace to handle each day as it comes.

Our "Homework" prior to making our decision to homeschool has included reading a basic book of introduction called, The Complete Idiot's Guide to Homeschooling, which my loving husband generously found for me at a used book store.  We needed to start somewhere, and this was a good start for us.  It introduced many factors and ideas that we needed to consider, including the plethora of curriculum available to choose for our family to use.  Obviously this was going to be a hard choice, and one that would require a lot of reading and exploring.  This was the next part of our "Homework."

Once we had our cirriculum chioces narrowed down to a handful, I emailed many of the parents I know who had homeschooled their children, or are homeschooling now with many of our "Questions."  I also contacted several of my friends who had been homeschooled by their parents.  The feedback I received was overwhelming, full of helpful information.  There were both pros and cons to think about, and some of the cons were some we had never considered.  However, upon prayerful consideration, we decided that the pros far outweighed the cons, and continued with our research.

I found a great book at the library with a lot of great insight, Rebecca Rupp's Getting Started on Home Learning: How and Why to Teach Your Kids at Home.  Seth read this book first, and was enthralled by some of the approaches the Rupp family used in their homeschooling approach.  I've been reading this book, and am equally intrigued by her ideas.  

We are becoming more and more sure that this is the right choice for our family.  However, we are also doubting some of our lifestyle choices, and the way they may affect our children's education.  I am working hard at becoming more orgainzed and task-oriented.  We're decluttering our home so that the distractions surrounding us are at a minimum.  I'm also trying to find out (from observing our current home life) which times would be the most appropriate for our schooling to take place.  For this decision, I have to consider Nina's sleeping schedule, the children's work ethic, and my own habits.  There will be some shifts in our daily schedule, and some of them will be less than desired - for me as well!  But in the hopes that the education of our children will be improved upon, those sacrifices are willingly made on my behalf.

Please pray for our family.  This decision is one of the most important we have made thus far, and we pray for the Lord's hand be upon us as we try to find what is best for our family.  We know His plan is perfect, while man's plan is hopelessly flawed.  Therefore, we pray that He lead us to His plan, and not our own, and that we accept it willingly.